From Calm to Chaos

Today I’m feeling completely shell shocked by it all.

The polarity of this moment in time is SURREAL!  

My personal experience – 

Feeling grateful 

Grounded and at peace 

Abundant

Healthy 

Prepared 

Safe

Loved 

Happy you’re in my life.

Confident – I’ve been in the unknown before. 

What I’m being drawn into –

I need to stay informed. 

Reading the daily stats – they are currently NOT reassuring 

Concern for the families that will struggle without their weekly paycheck

Thinking about the children who depend on the schools for breakfast and lunch, not knowing how they’re going to be fed

We’ve not faced this sort of virus before.  How do we REALLY stay safe?  

I’m restless and not sleeping as well 

How do we respond when our lives are being upended in the span of an hour? Or a minute or a day? 

Will everyone I know be OK? 

Then I reflect on this minute’s new normal…

  1. My three 1st dates cancelled.
  2. My interior designer is now using elbows instead of hugs to greet me  (so is everyone)
  3. Damn it!! Where’s David when we need him?
  4. I freaked out in the Hansen’s ice cream line when the woman in front of me sneezed into her hands.
  5. The bars and restaurants are closing.
  6. I’m dancing in my kitchen instead of the dance studio
  7. I’m playing THE MAN OF LA MANCHA on the piano and the lyrics has me in tears
  8. How long will we be dealing with this chaos?

My visceral reaction? 

WTF! 

I need chocolate 

If only I had a non-pooping doodle dog to cuddle with 

Am I bored? 

I think I’ll lie down for a minute 

I need a REAL hug right now. 

And by the way, what’s the latest on how we don’t die, and what happened on Love is Blind anyway? 

So, this is my current state. So many emotions and dimensions and reactions! It’s one giant internal experience of everything from calm to chaos.  

Yet, Joy still calls me and pulls me toward her.  It’s our job to stay connected to that which gives us joy.  For me, that starts with writing to you and drinking my hot cup of morning tea.  And now I can drink it in my front alcove enjoying my new fire table taking in the heat and the bird songs. 

We can’t control how a virus will spread. We can control our choices and our internal state. 

For me, at this moment, that’s a minute to minute undertaking.  I think that’s true for all of us. 

We are in this together….  

SENDING YOU MUCH LOVE, 

Maryl 

P.S. Find your favorite spot to simply BE. My living room is sacred and my go-to place for that. 

This photo of my living room reminds me that all is well in this sweet space. 

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