Love on Lockdown – The ordinary turns extraordinary.

LOVE IN ACTION – True Story!

He found her completely mesmerizing as he watched her dance slowly, moving with the gentle rhythm of her favorite song on the rooftop. He could see her from his apartment window. He lived on the 25th floor in the building next door.

She didn’t see him watching her. That evening at dusk she couldn’t stand being inside one minute longer. At this point, the stay-at-home mandate was more like a dark cloud that just wouldn’t go away. So on the rooftop of her New York City apartment, she found the perfect spot in the corner and moved and swayed as she took in the dusk sky.

He knew he had this one chance to meet her. So, he quickly got his drone and sent it over to her with his phone number attached. The next night, they had a picnic together with the phone as their link, each of them having set up the picnic as if they had made one together for each other. This has been going on for a few months now. They found a creative solution to developing intimacy and authentic conversations. When there’s the will, there’s a way.

Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures. 

We may be limited in leaving the house, but that has no bearing on your meeting your match. Really. You are not limited in dating amazing people anywhere on the globe! There’s one big, impactful question: If he or she arrived on your screen today, what would the most extraordinary love connection be to you? Have you created your vision for how it would go and how you would feel in his/her presence? And are you an energetic match for that person to appear?

Virtual courting is perhaps at its best right now especially if you have done the inner work to invite your love in. Instead of arbitrarily talking to anyone, the more clear you are about how you want to feel when you are with that person, and what lifestyle you want to share, the more interesting and delicious your texts and conversations can be. We have a unique opportunity to connect emotionally and intellectually before we ever meet physically! So the tiring drama that comes with sex as a short cut to intimacy won’t keep you up at night.

So let me ask you right here, right now, are you ready to have what you really want in a relationship?

Start with being clear about that. Simultaneously, for the first time in a long time, we can look under the hood of our hearts and take on being responsible for our own happiness and joy before we deeply connect with a lover. A slower pace equals deeper friendships, seeing if we share common values, and catching sight of those red flags before emotions run deep.

Yes, dating will take creativity if you want to invite romance into the picture. You may not have a drone, but there’s always pinterest if you’re a beginner.

So given all of these “new normal” (not normal) restrictions for dating, I’ve got some anecdotal tips to share with you (since I’m in this boat right along with you).

DO:

  1. Create an interesting profile that’s really you and shares your essence. Remember, boring begets boring. You’ll get out what you put in.
  2. If people fudge a bit, it’s mostly because they want to be accepted. Be gentle even if you pass them up.
  3. If you’re not feeling a warmth inside with someone, move on. This process can be easy when you don’t struggle.
  4. Smile, please. Frowny people get the left swipe.
  5. There is only one love and tons of people. Remember, you may not find your love on the first try. AND, these online apps are amazing communities! Look for the nugget in each conversation and be open to being exposed to whole new worlds that live inside of everyone of us.

DON’T:

  1. Don’t post photos that do not tell your story. It doesn’t work.
  2. Don’t wear sunglasses in all of your photos. It has me wondering if you’re having a really bad hangover!
  3. And scratch the bathroom photos, PLEASE!!!
  4. People, do not complain about your ex. It has me sure you’ll complain about me next!
  5. Gentlemen, no damn dead fish photos! They STINK!
  6. Liking someone who is not a fit could be setting yourself up for rejection. If you like me and we are definitely not a match, I now quickly swipe left. I’m over worrying about being rude. Now I’m just too busy.

AND LADIES: The rules have changed. 

Feel free to initiate communication, but if men are not responsive, be gentle with your heart and don’t give too much. Empower yourself. Limit your energy investment so you don’t become  drained and demoralized. You are valuable. Set your standards. If they don’t connect within two days after you reach out to them, carry on without them. He might be too busy to be online OR he might be married OR he might be in a relationship OR he might be broke OR, OR, OR…You get the point.

Please do NOT meet them in person while we are staying at home if you’ve never met them. If a person refuses to meet virtually and wants to meet in person–the answer to that is NO. HELL NO. They either meet you online or NEXT! Put your safety first and consider if you are attracted to someone whose agenda is more important than safety. RED FLAG big time!

Old habits are hard to break. Let your prospects know what you would like to do. If they want something different, see if they will shift or compromise. If they have never done any online meeting, they might need some help in the online dating protocol department. You’ll see how adaptable and resilient they are and that is a great quality. Safety first and make sure they make you laugh and smile.

Your heart and gut know best in this dating environment.

Sending you love & light,
Maryl

Can you tell me, what is your favorite dating APP & why?

THE PLATFORMS

Skype, Zoom, FaceTime, Google Hangouts

CREATIVE DATES

  • Online yoga classes
  • Facetime Happy Hour
  • Online Concerts: So many big names are offering free shows from their homes! Check out www.billboard.com for a list of upcoming performances.
  • Cook together: Follow a simple recipe together over video chat.
  • Get cultured: All kinds of museums, orchestras and aquariums are offering virtual visits.
  • Get a front row seat and support artists. Look at www.stageit.com for LIVE & interactive virtual concerts and get a front row seat to a backstage experience.

2 Comments

  1. That is amazing! I’m left with excitement about the possibility of dating again. I’m curious to see what dating sites have worked for LGBTQ+ community.

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